crazy

She was crazy. Not insane or mad, but absolutely crazy. When I woke up in the morning and clambered down the stairs into the breakfast room, I'd find my mother stark naked, except for a pair of high heels, frying eggs and bacon while buttering toast. She'd say, "Hello, darling, so glad you could make it to breakfast. Eggs are nearly done, love. Pour the coffee would you?" as though nothing about her lack of apparel deserved an explanation or even a comment. We would eat that way, she sitting across from me, her naked breasts hovering just above her breakfast plate, me staring at my eggs wondering how long this would go on. Some mornings she would wear a scarf along with her heels, other times a diamond necklace. Each morning I arose wondering what I would find next. Then one morning, she simply wasn't there.

I entered the breakfast room prepared for her naked flesh and patent leather heels to say hello and give me food, but silence greeted me instead. I never heard a quiet that pervasive, or felt a room so still. The air felt cool without the greasy heat from a frying pan permeating through the air. "Mother," I called out to an empty house. "Mother, are you here?"

Uncertain what to do, I wandered through the house searching for her. When I didn't find her, I went into the backyard and searched for her in the garden. Then the shed. Then the garage. That was when I noticed the car was gone. I ran inside and looked in her closet, dresser, and jewelry stand. Everything that belonged to my mother had disappeared with her.

Beginning to feel the loneliness of abandonment, I picked up the phone and dialed Harry's number. After the fourth ring, he picked up. "Hello?" answered a sleepy voice belonging to my father.

"She's gone," I said.
"What?"
"Mother. She's gone."
"Trey, is that you?"
"I don't know where she went."
"Don't worry, I'll be right over."
"She took all her clothes. She never wears clothes."
"I'm coming over there, Trey. Hold tight."
Then he hung up. Even though Harry and I never got along, I felt hopeful at the fact he would be there soon.

(to be cont.)

first times

The first time I rode a bike without training wheels, I lost control and rammed it into a car parked on the side of the street. I managed to leap off before impact and land unscathed upon my feet. The first time I fell in love, he broke my heart. I managed to end things without ever looking back. The first time I saw a porno, I hid my eyes behind my cupped palms. I managed to see enough to know pornos were indeed naughty. The first time I lived in London I fell in love with tall buildings and crowded trains. I managed to find myself in the midst of all the chaos. The first time I kissed a boy, I thought I was going to suffocate. I managed to hold my breath until finally pushing him away before I passed out. The first time I swam in the ocean, I saw pilot whales cresting over the waves. I managed to ignore the woman screaming 'sharks' on the beach and enjoy their elegant proximity. The first time I went to a dance club, I managed to arrive during a male strip tease put on solely for 'ladies night'. I managed to exit the venue before the banana hammock clad dancer made it to my table. The first time I feared for my life, I was walking home from school. I managed to escape with minor bruises and a few missing strands of hair. The first time I met a dirty old man older than most human beings, I was walking to an Anthro lecture. I managed to evade the elderly gentleman once he started spewing numbers relating to the inches of his allegedly enormous cock. The first time I saw horrors beyond words, I cried and wondered how human beings could hack off the head of a helpless child. I managed to reaffirm my belief that God lives in our hearts and minds and not upon this earth. The first time I found religion, I was only four. I managed to lose it several times afterward, only to find it once more in a somewhat altered but recognizable state. The first time I ran a 10K, my feet cramped up in muscle spasms from my Nike's. I managed to complete the race barefoot, sloshing in the rain, and enjoyed the freedom of naked feet upon the black pavement.